When Courage Fails
by Alyxzia
Summary: As we all know, Théodred indeed does ride to his death. I wrote this peace to give Théodred a little more of a detailed history. In my opinion, the War of the Ring has started well before Théodred died.


**When Courage Fails**

As we all know, Théodred indeed does ride to his death. I wrote this peace to give Théodred a little more of a detailed history. In my opinion, the War of the Ring had started well before Théodred died.

_There is a Prince of Rohan_  
_His name is Théodred  
__Orcs attacked him at the Fords  
__And now that Prince is dead_

**When Courage Fails**

For four years my father has been unwell. The healers can find no cause for his demise, and therefore they have no cue. I watch as out once great Kingdom crumbles and the hope of your people fails.

I try to raise morale and to support my homeland, but it is hard while my heart is breaking. As son of the King it is my duty to remain strong of face, even as my livelihood falls into disrepair.

I attempt to take some pressure off my father by taking control over of our riders, but my offer of help gets thrown back into my face. Grima has convinced my father that I am trying to upstage him. Éomer stands by me whatever decision I make. Grima is unable to break the bond we have, though he has tried many times to tell me Éomer wants to do harm to me. It is not true, that I know for sure. More than just being my cousin, Éomer is my friend and has been for a long time.

I know that it is Grima's words coming out of the King's mouth and it pains me that I cannot remain here at Edoras and spend all my time keeping watch over my father, but I am based out at Helm's Deep in the Westfolde. There I have some three thousand good riders with strong mounts bred from our own herds.

I have the Riders of My House out patrolling out boarders, keeping out lands safe for the time being. I have instructed Éomer to have his men over at Aldburg in the Eastfolde to do the same. So far, my tactics have kept the roaming orcs at bay without loss to our riders or their horses. There have been an increasing number of battles, and I fear that trouble looms.

At noon towards the end of February, the sun is shining as I sit in the Golden Hall of Meduseld simply watching my father. He is not the man that I remember. I remember a man strong in both mind and body, quick to smile and always able to help those in need no matter what the consequences may be. My father who took in his niece and nephew even though the death of their mother left him shattered. But in a heartbeat he opened his arms and became a father again to two children who desperately needed love due to the death of their parents.

Now I look at my father and I see only a shadow of the man he once was. He is here in body but his mind is not his own.

War is marching on our boarders and I've been ordered to lead my men to the Fords of the Isen, to take command of that plot of land he said. The order came from my father, my King. The decision was not of his own making. We've always been able to sit down and discuss together what action we would take should our boarders be threatened. But those times are over. Now the advisor for my father makes all the decisions, voicing them through the mouth of the King.

I am helpless. Unable to protect my people, unable to protect my land, and lastly, unable to protect myself. Rohan is going to fall and there is nothing I can say or do to prevent that happening. As far as I can see, my people are going to die protecting me in battle.

I fear the tomorrow I will be riding out to meet my death. Not only the death of myself, but also the deaths of my men and ultimately the deaths of all my people.

Our courage dwindles and without courage we are left with nothing. It is courage that makes us the great horse riders that we are. It is in our courage that we are able to fight the unbeatable fight and win. But if our courage fails, our hope for the future fails alongside it, and we will have really reached our end. It will be only our courage that will drive us in the battle tomorrow.

I do not want to die, but more than that, I do not want my people to die. My men have families, wives and children, to ride home to. I do not have a family of my own, but I have a duty to my lands to protect them. I do not want families left without a parent. I never knew my mother, and due to that experience I do not want to be the reason why children grow up without their fathers.

That last night in Edoras I spend it wandering around the halls of my former home. Memories flooded me as I recalled moments from my childhood, pleasant glimpses from the past.

Slowly I made my way outside towards my favorite place, the stables. Outside the main barn a stone carved into a pony's head is set upon a mound of grass. Here lies my first pony, buried some 35 years ago. I kneel and run my fingers over the smooth stone. Surprised, I feel a sudden wetness on my cheeks. I find that I am crying. Unable to stop the flow of tears I close my eyes and give in to the fire burning in my throat. It is right at this moment that I admit to myself that I am truly terrified of what is going to happen in these coming days.

Later that morning I am mounted upon my trusty horse and ready to depart. I have one company of riders with me and will collect the rest of my Riders from Helm's Deep. I look around at all the women in tears as they say goodbye to their husbands. They do not know if they will ride back safe.

My father has not come to see us off. I whisper a good-bye and pray that he knows how much I love him. His absence from the farewell reminds me yet again that I am alone. As I ride into what I fear will be my last battle, I look back towards the Hall. He is not there. I am truly lost to my father and I can't help but wonder if he will feel anything if I do not ride home. Goodbye father, know only that I love you.

**Finish  
April, 2004**


End file.
